


works: original/friends

by salemswritings (fukomacore)



Category: Original Work
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:55:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27157609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fukomacore/pseuds/salemswritings
Summary: this is for when i make joke works of my friends (with their consent), and original work
Kudos: 1





	1. joke: coffee shop au

**Author's Note:**

> this one was a dare from a discord server i'm in, warning for light sexual harassment

If Paris is the city of love, then Layla would say that a coffee shop is the city of unrequited love. She’s heard it all. No, she did not scrape her knee. No, she is not homework, and she is definitely not from Tennessee.

She didn’t expect working as a barista would be so exhausting. Well, she did, but not in the way of tolerating terrible romantic advances. But making overly-complicated orders was exhausting in its own right.

“Who even orders two kinds of milk?” Layla had a habit of murmuring to herself while she worked. She put the drink on the counter with only a slight excess of force. “Number 34!” Layla yelled with a twinge of annoyance.

That flew out the window when a boy barreled through the door and flopped down on the counter.

“Anyone. Literally anyone. Please.” he sputtered out.

Layla rushed over with a more anxious version of her customer service smile.

“Welcome, sir! May I… uh… take your order?”

“Coffee. Black. The biggest fucking size.”

“Alright sir! But are you… okay?”

The boy responded by threading his fingers into his deep brown locks and grunting. He stood up to reveal deep bags under his eyes.  _ I could move to Canada with those _ . Layla didn’t say that out loud.

“I’ve been awake for three days doing my stupid paper.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. A name for the order?”

“Skrub.”

Interesting name. Layla chose not to think much of it, and she started on the order. Skrub was waiting to pay though.

“It’s on the house.” she said.

“Thank you, so fucking much.” Skrub went to a table and dropped his bag. He immediately started working on his laptop, presumably on his paper.

It didn’t take a lot to make his order, it was simple enough. Instead of calling out his number, Layla decided to deliver it herself.

“Here.” She set it down beside him and went back behind the counter. Another customer walked in, with an unmistakable face.

“Hey there! I came back here because I think I lost my number. Any chance I could use yours?” The sleaze winked.

“Haha, no-“

Before she could respond, Skrub was standing up and pointing at the dude.

“You! You there! Don’t do that, it’s creepy. Do you treat every pretty girl like that? I don’t like creepy people and I feel delusional enough to do something really stupid.” he exclaimed. Shocked, the sleaze just ordered and sat down.

“Yo, was that the sleaze again? October? I swear…” That was Vessel, Layla’s coworker. He was taking inventory in the back.

“Yeah, but it’s fine now.” she half-whispered with surprise.

That has never happened to Layla in her three years working there. He really stood up for her, some random coffee shop worker that he didn’t even know. She was slightly flustered, but it wasn’t exactly that.

He was just being a decent person. But Layla decided to use the lack of traffic to observe him. His curly brown hair was messy, like he had been running around all day. His face was scrunched up a bit in concentration, it was cute.

Just thinking about his personality made Layla laugh a little. At that point, she was laughing to herself in the near barren shop. Vessel had just left. It was just Layla and Skrub.

Layla moved to the tables and sat down, scrolling through her phone. It wasn’t like she could do anything else, other than trying to make shitty latté art.

Skrub hadn’t moved for a while. Layla stood up and leaned to see what he was doing. Sleeping. His face was smashed into his arm and he was leaning against the somewhat dirty wall. She walked over and tapped him on the shoulder.

“Hey, we’re not closing but you fell asleep.”

Skrub blinked a few times, gaining a sense of self. It was pretty cute. But he quickly screeched into Layla’s ear and promptly flipped his shit.

“My paper! Oh my fucking everloving god. I’m going to die. I’m dying a virgin and it’s all because of human desir-“ Layla cut him off with a hand on his shoulder. He snapped his head around to look at Layla.

“Thanks for earlier, no one’s ever dealt with him.” She gave him a warm smile.

“It was n-nothing. No one deserves that.” he stuttered out. He flushed slightly seeing her smile.

“Don’t think that I missed you calling me a pretty girl.”

“Well, I was just stating facts.” He looked at her like she just told him she had three heads.

“Oh, well then I guess you’re a cute boy too.” she said with the false air of confidence. Skrub tensed and grabbed a marker.

“Your arm. Give it to me. Not like that though.” he stammered while avoiding eye contact.

Layla complied, only slightly weirded out. Skrub scribbled what looked to be his number onto Layla’s arm.

“It’s washable… you know if you don’t want it.” Layla shook her head and pressed a kiss to Skrub’s cheek.

“I don’t want to wash it off, Skrub.”


	2. joke: end of the world

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> from that same discord server

_ The newfound darkness slowly closed in on the ice-laced walls. Some raw chicken that was supposed to be for dinner dug into a young boy’s torso. _

_ “Caroline! Let me out you witch!” Matthew was in quite a predicament. _

_ “Not until you tell me where you put my paintbrushes, twerp.” He could practically see her veins bulging out of her head. _

_ “Fine! They’re in my shirt drawer! Please-“ Matthew’s plea was interrupted by a noise that could only be described as a wind blowing through a campfire. “Hello? Caroline?” The weight that was on the freezer door had vanished. _

_ Using all of the strength he had left in his bitterly cold body, Matthew kicked his leg at the door and it swung open with a crash. Immediately, he fell out onto his hands. “Jesus Christ.” The warmth was welcoming to his arms and so he was able to lift himself back up. _

_ Looking behind him, Matthew saw the shattered china from the force of the freezer door opening. “Mom’s going to kill me.” He suddenly looked down at a pile of ash. As Matthew’s senses returned, he slowly realized what his world looked like. _

_ Most of the furniture in the kitchen had burn marks on them. His vision was clouded by smoke. Matthew peered over to the tablecloth on his dining table. It was on fire. _

_ “Fuck.” He ran through the apartment, ignoring any other damage present. He grabbed the doorknob with his still wet shirt and to his surprise the knob wasn’t burning. Two doors down was a fire alarm that he then pulled. _

_ After jumping down a few flights of stairs, he reached the parking lot. “Help! There’s a fire in my building!” He yelled desperately. It took Matthew a moment before he realized there was no one around him. Considering this is Chicago, this was highly, highly unusual. Impossible even. _

_ All around, buildings in his view were coated in a thick layer of ash or were charred beyond recognition. _

_ “What happened?” “Was there a fire?” “Why isn’t anyone else outside?” Thoughts were slowly piling up in his head as he took in his surroundings. _

_ He sat on the ground. “Whatever this is, I think I’m on my own now.” _

Being the last person on Earth at the age of 12 was certainly not what Matthew expected of his life, but things happen. Around two year have passed since then. There was enough food items preserved in freezers at the convenience stores to keep him well-fed. Also enough to bake a cake.

A fairly shitty cake sat in front of Matthew. He had calculated that today was his 14th birthday. He also calculated that he was on his last shred of sanity.

“Happy birthday Caroline,” he looked over to the sack of cotton with a blonde halloween wig on top, “it’s our 14th birthday!” He smiled warmly at the unresponsive sack.

He struck the flint with ease, having to do this more times than he cared to remember. A toothpick was lit and Matthew began to sing.

“Happy birthday to us, happy birthday to-“ A knock on the door rudely interrupted the exciting celebration. “Excuse me, Caroline. I think we have a guest!” He remarked with a twinge of excitement.

Matthew grabbed the doorknob and swung it open to reveal a strange figure. “Hello! Are you here for the birthday celebration! I’m turning 14 and so is my sister!” He gestured towards the sack with a wig.

“Human?” A garbled voice came from the figure. It began to morph into what appeared as a melted Ken doll.

“I’m pretty sure, yes. Would you like some cake?” He was unfazed by the transformation in front of him.

“Human gone.” Spindles of metal came forward and grabbed Matthew’s head. A scream couldn’t even escape before a sickening crack came after the twist of Matthew’s neck. During all this, the garbled voice of the figure chanted to the box on its chest.

“Hello CQ, is Skrub. Earth dead.”


End file.
